


Running Interference

by deebee



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Failed Spywork, Humor, Matchmaking, Operation Kitty Hawk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-08
Updated: 2014-08-08
Packaged: 2018-02-12 07:20:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2100588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deebee/pseuds/deebee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Clint takes things a little too slowly with Darcy for their liking, Thor, Tony, and Natasha decide to take it in their hands to play matchmaker. Very poorly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Running Interference

**Author's Note:**

> Just something that happened one night. My first submission, please be gentle. :)

Since joining the Avengers, Natasha had become used to the strange, abnormal, and downright weird things her teammates seemed to perform on a daily basis. So when Natasha came across Tony and Thor doing their best to hide behind a potted plant in the corner of their common living area one evening, she wasn’t overly concerned.

“Do I want to know?” she asked, crossing her arms and quirking an eyebrow. Neither Tony nor Thor seemed very bothered by her question, and Tony actually raised a finger to his lips to shush her. Despite a tiny voice in the back of her head screaming that she was a well-trained assassin and this sort of tomfoolery was beneath her, Natasha found herself squeezing in between the two men, peeking through the leaves of the poor, put-upon plant.

Looking through the foliage and across the room, Natasha saw a rather ordinary scene. Clint sitting on the couch, his arm casually thrown over the back, and his fingers grazing the shoulder of Jane’s assistant, Darcy Lewis. The two of them were watching a movie and-

Wait -- what?

Natasha blinked slowly, not wanting to give away the fact that the scene had startled her. If she wasn’t mistaken, Clint was… attempting to put the moves on someone. Slowly, she started to push the potted plant a little closer towards the couch. If she could just get a better vantage point, she’d be able to see--

“Lady Natasha, what are you--” Natasha threw her hand over Thor’s mouth, hoping to stifle his overly-loud voice, but realized it was too late. The couple on the couch had been alerted to the presence of others in the room, and were now sitting as far away from each other as possible. The gig was up. Clint and Darcy had spotted them; he looked furious, she was laughing her ass off at the sight of three Avengers hiding behind a bush.

“Great, Big Guy, you spooked them,” Tony said, standing up from their rather poor hiding spot and brushing imaginary dust off himself. Thor busied himself looking flustered and embarrassed.

“Were you guys spying on us?” Clint said, standing up from the couch and walking over to the trio of would-be spies.

“Don’t be stupid,” Natasha said, sweeping past him and taking his place on the couch, while Clint scolded Thor and Tony about invasions of privacy. Natasha tuned the boys out. She sat down on the couch, cross-legged and facing Darcy, fixing her with a piercing stare that made Darcy squirm uncomfortably.

“I want to look away, but I’m afraid to,” Darcy said, staring back at Natasha. The younger girl fiddled with the hem of her over-sized sweater, but other than that displayed no outward signs of nervousness.

“Nat, leave her alone,” Clint said, heaving a sigh and making his way back to the couch. Without breaking eye contact, Natasha held a firm hand up to his face, stopping Clint in his tracks. Angrily he scowled at her and attempted to swipe at her hand, but she quickly moved it out of the way.

“If this is some sort of display of dominance, I’m ok with losing,” Darcy said.

“It’s not,” Natasha said, which didn’t do much to put Darcy at ease.

“Ok, well then, I’m just going to… go…” Darcy trailed off as she slowly stood up from the couch, her eyes never leaving Natasha’s as she backed out of the room, slamming the door shut behind her.

Clint let out an audible sigh of relief before flopping back down onto the couch next to Natasha. They were quickly joined by Thor and Tony.

“I approve,” Natasha said, finally turning away from the door Darcy had just exited. Clint groaned and rubbed his face with both of his hands.

“As do I,” Thor’s voice rumbled. “Agent Barton is a good match for Lady Darcy. Lady Jane’s assistant deserves an esteemed warrior such as yourself.”

“Please, guys, I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but I really don’t need any help in this department,” Clint said, in a weary tone. It was as if he knew that no amount of arguing would be able to keep the Avengers from meddling once they got an idea into their brains.

“Yeah right,” Tony said, proving Clint right.  “You’re moving at a glacial pace at best.”

“I’m just… we’re just…” Clint struggled to find the right words. “I don’t want to scare her away.”

Three pairs of eyes collectively rolled.

“This is worse than I thought,” Natasha said, standing up from the couch and herding Tony and Thor out of the room with her. “We have lots of planning to do if we’re ever going to see this come to fruition.”

The door slid shut on Clint’s protests.

\--

Throughout the next few days, Natasha, Thor, and Tony attempted to implement Operation Kitty Hawk. (“Lady Darcy has always reminded me of a ferocious yet cuddly creature, not unlike your Midgardian domesticated beasts.”)

On Wednesday, Tony had the genius idea of waiting until Clint and Darcy had boarded the elevator together and then ordering Jarvis to shut it down completely. The three co-conspirators then huddled around a display and waited for some sign that Clint was going to make his move. Instead, the trio was awarded with three hours of a hideously boring game of Old Maid and a slew of complaints from everyone else in the building.

Friday morning, Thor wondered aloud if Lady Darcy could hold her own in a fight should she ever find herself in a situation where self-defense would be called upon, and would Agent Barton be so kind as to teach Lady Darcy a few moves. Darcy obediently followed Clint down to the shooting range, where he showed her how to shoot a variety of guns and crossbows, but nothing else. Clint was nothing if not extremely serious about his weaponry.

The following evening, Natasha pulled out a large bottle of vodka and several shot glasses, stating in her deep, steely tone of voice that drinking was not optional for anyone. Though Steve and Tony ended up getting into a friendly argument that ended up destroying half of their communal living area, Clint and Darcy managed to stay on opposite sides of the room for the entire evening. This may have been prevented, but Natasha found herself busy engaging in an arm-wrestling competition with Thor that no one could convince her she would lose.

“I wish you guys would just trust me to do this on my own,” Clint complained later that week during a sparring match with Natasha.

“I’ve seen how you handle yourself around women, Barton, and I was not dazzled,” Natasha said, sending a vicious kick towards Clint’s head that he deftly blocked with his forearm.

“You don’t know,” Clint said, responding to Natasha’s kick with a jab towards her stomach she avoided by jumping backwards. “I’m pretty suave and debonair when I want to be.”

Afterwards, Natasha would apologize for having to cut their training session short due to her uncontrollable laughter.

\--

“This is unbearable,” Tony said over breakfast, a week since Operation Kitty Hawk had begun. “Maybe it’s time to give up.”

Natasha couldn’t help but agree. Darcy and Clint had steadfastly ignored every opportunity the trio had presented them, and Natasha was beginning to think there was no hope for the two of them. If the ever relentless Tony Stark was thinking of throwing in the towel, it might be time for them to move on and find other targets to torment.

“I had high hopes for Agent Barton and Lady Darcy,” Thor lemented, taking a disinterested nibble off a strawberry flavored Pop-Tart. Natasha filed away the image of a Norse God nibbling at a pastry away for the next time she needed a good laugh.

“Well, Thor, what else can we try? We can’t afford another Explosive Sangria incident,” Tony said, and the three of them gave the incident the grim moment silence it deserved.

“Perhaps if we just sat the two of them down and explain the situation,” Thor suggested.

“What, like an arranged marriage?” Tony said with a snort.

“Actually…” Natasha said, a thoughtful tone to her voice. She eyed Clint and Darcy who were sitting on the opposite end of the kitchen, their knees brushing together briefly before they shied away again. Natasha stood up, finishing her cup of coffee in one gulp and walked over to the two would-be love birds.

“Can I help you?” Darcy asked as she noticed the other woman stomping over towards them with unmistakable intent.

“You two,” Natasha said, stabbing a finger in their general direction, “are absolutely the most infuriating people I have ever met.”

“Excuse me?” Darcy said.

“Nat, not today…” Clint groaned.

“No, Clint, I can’t stand it anymore,” Natasha’s nostrils flared slightly, and she pointed at Clint.

“You like her, yes?”

“Well, I mean, I… How could… Well--” Clint was cut off by Natasha’s angry growl. “Yes, yes I do.” A deep red blush started creeping its way up Clint’s neck as he averted his eyes away from everyone in the room. Natasha would have laughed if she wasn’t so aggravated.

“And you,” she rounded on Darcy. “Are your feelings the same?”

“Yes,” Darcy said, a large smile on her face as she reached for Clint’s hand with one of her own. “I think I like him quite a bit.”

Clint’s eyes snapped to Darcy. “What? I mean… really? Are you sure?”

“Oh, for christ’s sake,” Natasha whipped out her phone and starting typing rapidly. “You have dinner reservations tonight at 8:00. I’m emailing you the details. Dress accordingly.”

With a final snarl, Natasha stalked out of the dining area, stopping just briefly enough to indulge in a fistbump with her brothers in arms. She was done playing matchmaker for a while. It was far too much work. Without so much as a look back at the couple she helped create, Natasha made her way to Director Fury’s office, hoping he’d know of some bad guys who needed their asses kicked.

  



End file.
